dummies5

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"This Is Your Life"

"Hi. My name is -=5t4r5m4sh3r=-, and I'm a Shackaholic"

And now you're in it for the long haul. Kiss your family, job, and loved ones goodbye. Here are some tips:

Shack Survival Tips

Don't ask SlimJim if he likes your favorite game.
Racism is not tolerated here. Fortunately, "Canadian" is not a race
It is common knowledge that those who cannot find the "Reply" button also have pee all over the floor around their toilet.
Maarten has already heard all your witty remarks about pot, hookers, tulips, windmills and wooden shoes, and doesn't think they are funny. He is bigger than you, and won't stay in Holland forever.
If you find a young actress attractive, shut up about it, even if you are young yourself, lest you be compared to jo-papa. For some inexplicable reason, however, the Olson Twins are excluded from this rule.
If new, lurk a while before posting to get a good general "feel" of the place and avoid embarrassing yourself. Five minutes is probably sufficient.
Turn your speakers down before clicking on user profiles.
Feel free to post your requests for relationship advice. Do not, however, under any circumstances, ever read the replies.
Want to get around the guidelines and ask where to get warez? Shacktag your question in strikethrough! The Admins will never see it then!

You know you Shack too much when:

Your Shack account name is printed on your business card
You check "Users Online" before deciding whether to go see a movie
You're late to school because there was a great debate in ER, and bring a note from Maarten
You close a business deal by saying "Have your people Shackmessage my people."
You realize that although you are in front of your computer all day, you never have time for gaming anymore
Your Shack bookmarks file is 10 Megabytes
You know, and care, who Bal Sogoth is
You goatsecx your parents to gain "cred"
You pass up hot, steamy sex for a shot at first post in ER
You forget your wife's birthday, but you remember sTeve's
You quiz campaigning politicians "Flat or threaded?"
If someone flips you off in traffic, you yell "Sniff j00"
You can't walk past the Internet demo at the Radio Shack without logging in to check your messages
You know how many comments are in Hawkeye's history
You are Hawkeye
You fly to QuakeCon and miss the Carmack speech because you're looking for the Plastic Cowboy Hat